Today I’m grateful for community support. For beginning to feel like I fit in somewhere. For having help with travel. For friendly faces. For affordable food made by people who care. For Scrabble and a coffee. For a space to make art. For people who listen. For the chance to show someone I care.

Gradients are fun. It’s probably gonna be the base of something but I have to wait for it to dry. 🖌️ Inktense on paper.

@kirk my best wishes to you and your family at this sad time

@mbkriegh I haven’t had a regular journaling habit for some time and then it just kind of happened recently. I’ll inevitably move on from it and then come back again at some point :)

@mbkriegh oh! good luck with that. I feel like I’m going thru a release of junk food as a coping habit right now. It’s been on my mind recently

I’m really enjoying journaling recently. I find it’s helping me create a personal and private space for me to share – with myself. I have a couple of nice LAMY Safari fountain pens filled with black Atramentis Document ink. It’s a really nice combination to write, or draw with. My next journal is going ... aeryn.me

@amerpie good doggie

@kirk solidarity 💪

@mbkriegh that’s awesome

@Mtt very awesome. Opinionated sounds like just what I need. It looks great! Thanks and congrats 😀

@moonmehta oh hey, good luck 🙂

@Miraz thank you

@KimberlyHirsh @UndamnedOne thank you, both :)

The pond is a peaceful place https://aeryn.me/uploads/2024/20240724-pond-reflections-abney.mp4

Morning coffee in the park, soaking in the sun.

It’s been a tough, emotional, overwhelming day.

I was gonna self-soothe with some unhealthy takeout food tonight but I decided to make a better choice for my body.

I feel a little bit better about making this small positive step forwards, even when I feel self-destructive.

@hollyhoneychurch what a cutie

@pip love this!

A doodle I made yesterday in art group. I call it a rainblob. 🎨 black marker and InkJoy biros

@help thank you!

insert irony emoji here

Isn’t ironic, don’t you think?

Trying to publish some art on my art journal after a long time of feeling unable to share my creative works. And I hit a bug on my Micro.blog account preventing me from posting. 🤷‍♀️

@help - please help me with this? Unable to post - Account Bug

Air conditioning 10/10

@manton wow that would be awesome! Thanks a lot.

I think probably too much of my life is performative and masking. Trying to fit in and meet expectations. Trying to be someone I’m not. Trying to do things I can’t. People pleasing but feeling unworthy of receiving. It’s very tiring.

I keep trying to fix myself. Maybe I’m not supposed to be ‘fixed’.

Brain is fried. It’s been a week of crappy paperwork and speaking on phone, which I find really difficult and overwhelming most of the time.

Even speaking with an org that is there to help left me deep in energy defecit.

I just want to play and create. I hardly do either these days.

Sad face.

@manton Looks good, but how to do this tho? I wish I could do stuff like this.

@veronique.bsky.social Ooh! Replied via Micro.blog and it got threaded properly.

@veronique.bsky.social Heya Vero <3. I wish I was learning properly. I bought a guitar about 10 years ago and I have just dabbled with practicing cords and making nice noises with it. But years have gone by where I haven’t touched it. I’m picking some things up in group tho :)

@Mtt looks great!

@pratik right! Sounds like a weird friction Adobe have on the account side of things. I think I’m months away from renewal. Something to think about. Thanks

@pratik I’ve thought about doing this too. As I don’t really use photoshop at all. I’d be interested if you decide to share more of your experience switching.

@hollyhoneychurch beautiful sunset

@rscottjones love this 👌

@jtr thanks. I added this to my reading list for later. I really enjoy the indie web when I find the time to go delving

Music group was good. I practiced some cords on guitar. I’m still a complete noob but someone was saying I play beautifully 🤷‍♀️. I am a naturally dexterous person so I feel it’s something I could learn.

I feel this kinda deep ache inside me to play guitar and keyboard.

I have numb fingertips now.

It’s always a treat to sit here under the trees, by the pond, and in the rain. 📷📹 It’s very peaceful (because everyone else goes home)

It’s been a while since I last tended to my Micro.blog sites. I have a few broken links and other things I want to fix. But also, I’m kinda content with the messiness.

I’m still getting an arty journal going (journal.aeryn.art), I set it up a while back and then immediately abandoned it.

I got myself signed up today to a community taxi service. Hopefully I’ll be a bit more mobile soon.

Social interactions are hard 😢

Today was very busy-

• blood test
• walk in park
• FaceTime with Mum
• coffee with a friend
• building Ikea furniture with my son
• sorting out my new storage
• King of the Hill
• writing this

Also really loving my new AirPods that I got for my birthday. I was sceptical but they’re way better than I expected.

Proton Drive is poop. I’m fed up of the constant friction and sync weirdness. iCloud Drive is 1000% better and mostly reliable.

This has been a moan.

Prophecy is a guess that comes true. When it doesn’t, it’s a metaphor.

– Vir Cotto (Babylon 5) 📺

Currently on repeat. One of my all time favourite songs. It has this transcendent mix of melancholy and joy. Fix You by Coldplay, from X&Y. 🎵

Another really nice thing happened today. I was brave enough and feeling ok to make it to my support centre for the first time in a couple of months. I was aiming for the art group. I bumped into a friend there and we sat in the art room and chatted for a couple of hours to catch up with things.

My family has been going through quite a tough time over recent months and for various reasons related to that I’ve hardly seen my youngest during that time. But tonight he came round for pizza and an X-Men film. It’s so nice to be with him again. He’s hilarious and cheeky. Love him so much.

I just finished watching Manifest. 📺 Wow! I might have cried quite a few times during the series. Fun fact. While watching the show, I experienced two very blatant synchronicities / coincidences that blew my mind when they happened. Like seriously intense and undeniable. One was during season 1 and the... aeryn.me

A few moments by the pond before I go for coffee 📷

Life has been pretty tough going recently. I’m doing my best to look after myself but a lot of the time it just doesn’t seem to be enough.

All I can do is lean in to my spiritual practice. It’s the only thing keeping me sane.

I want to make art but I feel unable to do anything creative.

I’m ok.

I’m sad to see the Gluon app go. Honestly, I don’t much like the official Micro.blog app and find it’s better to just use the website. 🤷‍♀️