you better ride until your nipples get hard

i’m not even playin’

#ShitPelotonInstructorsSay

how many of y’all cry during (one of my workouts)?

oh that’s a lot

[buries head]

#ShitPelotonInstructorsSay

i just plugged my bike helmet into my couch to charge in case you’re wondering what stage of civilization we are currently in

how many people on that leader board do you think barry white had a helping hand in creating

#ShitPelotonInstructorsSay

nothing worse than showing up to the nude beach unprepared

I am pleased to announce that I just got a PR on a chicken curry bowl speed run and will now be setting down my spork and retiring from professional chicken curry bowl speed running.

instr: i’m not gonna give you dietary recommendations. but i am going to tell you to consume more reggae.

instr: [talks for 3 minutes about eating only burritos]

#ShitPelotonInstructorsSay

“expanding your pantry” points to butt

#shitpelotoninstructorssay

how is this not violating a gag order?

(i guess it’s not about the jurors or witnesses, but still)

(also how tf did i get on this list)

(i responded that i want him arrested)

(they did not respond to that)

tfw when the system tells you how it works

@samgrover 🤩

okay time to stop reading the news for today i guess

so, uh, all lint from polyester, acrylic, spandex, etc. is microplastic right

cool cool cool

folding a burrito inside a hot skillet while it’s warming up is not a skill i ever expected to regret developing

@whlteXbread a poignant one: "the map had an X that meant nothing"

if you: - need some entertainment - want to read phonetically balanced groups of sentences - are testing a voice communication system try the harvard sentences! great for snark, tautologies, and even some wisdom.

www.cs.columbia.edu/~hgs/audi…

me: are you mad jon hamm is in the new season of morning show? her: yes!! me:why? her: he’s always a dick in everything! he’s a dick in bridesmaids and he’s a dick in 47 gentlemen! me: 47 gentlemen?!?!?!

despite all my rage i am still just a little bit late to work every day

to boil the ocean you must first put the frog into the water

rarely seen in nature. one lucky denver resident will be the proud owner of a bouncing baby UPS truck.

tfw you upload a histogram to slack, feel like you beat a game on nightmare difficulty, crack open a cold one, jump up and down and hit your knee on your standing desk

iykyk

don’t sleep on the new billy woods album open.spotify.com/album/3Vo…

one of these days i will finally learn my lesson: aws is incompatible with _

i just named my earpods “ear hair” ama

@whlteXbread doing this in the vertex shader was harder than i thought it would be.

@help this is certainly a can of worms, but would it be possible to make a long post here and turn it into a thread when cross posting to mastodon and twitter? maybe if there was a standard separator?

@samgrover these are beautiful photos Sam. I can just imagine the color temperature changing during the sunset. Would you recommend always hiring a guide?

@warner it is fine :) there was a fire closer to it earlier this year, but the first responders here are getting pretty good at this 😅

@whlteXbread anyway, a very helpful service when you wake up and smell smoke but there’s nothing on twitter or in the news about nearby fires. helped me calm some nerves this morning. hope y’all front range peeps stocked up on air filters.

@whlteXbread looks like the smoke visible now in CO is likely from a fire north of Flagstaff AZ. if you turn the "fire detections" layer on, there are a couple dots northwest of Aspen. grain of salt with that layer, though.

@samgrover cool stuff :)

@samgrover love these.

@samgrover @odd timeless looks both.

@samgrover cool!

@ohBananaJoe thanks for the kind words :)

@whlteXbread this is not original or particularly difficult but it is a throwback to win 3.1 and it was fun to make thisisreal.net/served/ou...

@whlteXbread looks like this is a nothingburger—a combination of changing reporting methods and adding 2.4 million test results to their data in order to facilitate that methodology change. we’ll have to wait a little longer to see any changes after rescinding the mask mandate.

@whlteXbread okay, digging into this some more, i can understand why they’d want to move away from their previous method of reporting www.msn.com/en-us/mon...

@whlteXbread a short news story on the change—“health leaders say it’s how they track other diseases, like the flu”…have you ever taken an at-home flu test? 🤔 ktiv.com/2021/02/1...

@whlteXbread fwiw, NPR added a disclaimer about the “data irregularity” after i posted my tweet yesterday 😞. still, the timing feels really sus. NYT has somehow updated their numbers and are not reporting a giant spike.

@whlteXbread hmmm, looks like iowa decided to change their reporting method, causing an artificial spike. so those numbers weren’t correct. the timing sure is fishy github.com/CSSEGISan...

@jw unless they have ion cannons

@jw you must unfortunately be losing your mind—TIE fighters always shoot green bolts

@khurtwilliams was it good

@khurtwilliams always.

@cliffordbeshers great photo.

@samgrover get out of there cat