blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social) Avatar
blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
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blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

listen all y'all, it's a
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blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

(Tommy Tutone voice) 1-877 Kars4Kids
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blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

Ingénieur: Voudriez-vous finir de mâcher et d'avaler cette bouchée de chips avant de commencer l'enregistrement Serge Gainsbourg: Non
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blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

if today is Saturday then this is tonight [contains quote post or other embedded content]
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blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

wearing my wife's underwear just to feel something, anything
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blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

If you love something, set it free. If you hate something, set it free in Van Nuys
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blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

Ferrero Rocher is the only candy that wears lingerie
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blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

well, there's nothing in the rule book that says a dog can't lick peanut butter off my balls while my wife is at Joann Fabrics
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blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

you can make your very own Steve Bannon at home with a Steak-umm and some lightning
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blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

going back in time to kill baby Mussolini so he doesn't feel left out
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blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

found this old picture of me at the 1994 San Francisco Comedy Competition
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blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

for today is the day i kill Spider-Man
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blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

had a fever dream last night where i was at a hell gig and asked the bartender for a pen and he was a dick about it, later he wanted it back and i told him i sold it
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blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

i'm stand-upping at the Elks Lodge in Van Nuys on Friday June 7th if you're into that sort of thing
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blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

sad to hear about Scott Wampler, a very funny and friendly guy RIP
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blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

Me: Why do I have less diarrhea when I drink more water Judge Merchan: I meant questions about your deliberation instructions
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blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

i'm hosting LUCHA VA-VOOM with special guest DREW CAREY tonight and tomorrow at the Mayan if you're into that sort of thing @drewfromtv.bsky.social
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blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

seeing a Cybertruck is like seeing Billy Corgan in person... it's a lot bigger than you thought it was going to be
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blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

Challengers (2024, Dir. Luca Guadagnino)
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blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

are you fucking kidding me with this shit
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blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Planet of the Apes
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blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

Young Jack Sheldon
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blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

🎶 ooo-wee-ooo i look just like Buddy Hackett 🎶
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blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

Happy Mother's Day (observed)
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blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social)
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

i'm on POP CULTURED WITH JIMMY PARDO featuring Kristen Studard, Andy Kindler and a third thing this Saturday at UCB @jimmypardo.bsky.social @andykindler.bsky.social